“I am so fat.”
“I look awful.”
“I can never get done what I want to get done.”
“Why does it take me so long to do anything?”
“I’m so stupid.”
Have you ever said any of these to yourself? Or something similar to it?
Well I have, and yes, that is hard to admit. The horrible things I will say to myself, in the silence of my own head, is quite awful. I would never say those things to a friend, why would I say it to myself? It is almost astounding what we can get away with saying to ourselves. When in all reality we should be lifting ourselves up and encouraging ourselves. More often than not though, we are unhappy and unsure of how to get to the end results we want, so we continue to feel like failures.
I’ve felt that. I have always struggled with body image, wanting to lose weight and not truly being happy with the way I looked. Then I got engaged and was about to marry my best friend on June 25, 2016. I was never more motivated to be in the best shape of my life. I was bound and determined. I would hit my 12,000 (yes, 12,000 not 10,000) step goal every day, even if that meant walking or running on top of already going to the gym. Then as the wedding drew closer, I probably was not eating enough, but the weight was coming off and I was happy about that. In the back of my mind though, I knew it was not sustainable; I was hungry too often. The wedding came and then the honeymoon came, at an all-inclusive resort, and then the pounds came back on. It was not long, probably the end of the summer and I was almost back to where I was pre-wedding. The motivation was gone. I had to find new motivation and sustained motivation and really, I needed to create new habits. What I did not know, but soon learned, was that what I really needed was Bod E Talk.
I never really realized how bad I was to myself until I went through Bod E Talk in January of 2017. We learn A LOT throughout the course of Bod E Talk, but one piece that really resonated with me was the discussion around negative self talk and how we need to switch to positive affirmations.
What I really learned was that I had to learn to love my body by realizing all IT IS capable of doing.
It is so easy to beat yourself up for what you can’t do. Stop doing that! Start realizing and loving yourself for all the things you CAN DO! Once you do that, you will begin to notice you are capable of doing a lot more than you give yourself credit for.
On top of continually calling myself fat, I am also extremely hard on myself when it comes to accomplishing tasks. Everything has to be done 100% correctly or in my mind, it’s not worth doing. This means it takes me so much time (and so much longer than the average person) to finish a task, which would then result in me being extremely frustrated with myself. Leading to more negative thoughts and many times tears.
The biggest strategy that helped me with this is the thought Stacy shares, “Progress Not Perfection.” Everything I do does not need to be perfect. I do not need to be perfect. I need to continually be making progress and getting better, but it does not need to be perfection.
I have taken this thought and applied it in many different ways in my everyday life. Now I think of some tasks as they can just be good enough. For example, now when making the bed it does not need to be perfect, it can just be good enough. I remind myself, if the covers are up and the pillows in place that is good enough. I also use it a lot when cleaning the bathroom. I tell myself, you will clean this bathroom again, if you miss a spot, it is OKAY. I have learn to just let go a little bit.
Has this been challenging for me? Heck yes! Do I struggle with it everyday? Of course! Do I keep moving forward and working to improve each day? YES.
That is what Bod E Talk is all about. It might not seems like my need for constant perfection is applicable to Bod E Talk. What does a Lifestyle Modification Program do to help a self proclaimed perfectionist? But that is the beauty of Bod E Talk. We go so much deeper than just losing weight. Yes that will most likely (probably definitely) happen too, but you learn so much about yourself through the process, it is truly unbelievable.
We all have inner struggles and battles that we are dealing with that probably no one knows about. For some it might be weightloss, others it could be negative thoughts and self-doubt, the inability to be good enough for yourself; what I do know is that through Bod E Talk anyone can learn to overcome those struggles. You learn to have a healthy, open, honest and trusting relationship with the most important person, YOURSELF!