The "Deeper Why" to Your Success - Coach Kate Q Anderson
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My new beginning happened at my grandpa’s funeral. I was standing in line for the viewing when my uncle came up to me and asked, “when is your baby due?” Oh, that question! The single, dreaded question by all non-pregnant women. My baby was a few months old.
In a family where my mom and sisters are naturally thin, my heavier build sticks out like a marshmallow in a row of lollipops. I’ve always felt like the “bigger” sister.
For days after the funeral, I thought about what that question implied. And worse, it wasn’t the first time someone in my extended family had pointed out my larger size. I remember in high school my grandfather made a similar comment comparing my sister’s willowy frame to my husky one.
Thinking about these comments still makes my cheeks burn, even now.
I remember flying home from the funeral and thinking, this ends now! I will never again be known as the overweight sister. It’s my body, and I’m taking control of it!
That decision changed my life. It started a journey of health and fitness.
This led me on a four-year journey to following diet plans, exercising regimes, but only with disappointing results, and then I finally found Bod E Talk. I am happy to report, I met my goals!
Bod E Talk isn’t a diet. It is a lifestyle focused on maintainable change that teaches you how to stick to your goals.
It’s been a year since I met my weight loss goal and now I’m a Bod E Talk coach. The question I get asked over and over is, “how do I stay motivated?” Motivation is hard when the scale won’t move. Or a pound is gained. Or life is stressful. I get that. It took me months to let go of my nighttime ice cream snacking and replacing it with a healthier habit.
But I’d like to teach you a way to help keep your motivation strong even during your weakest moments.
It begins by looking at the roots and reasons behind your goal.
Take me for example, my journey to health and weight loss began with a goal of losing 20 pounds.
Wanting to lose 20 pounds wasn't a strong enough motivator to push me when stresses, weaknesses, or temptations came my way. It was one of my biggest struggles.
I realized it had to be more. I had to go deeper.
I call it my “Deeper Why” statement. You can create your own “Deeper Why” statement by asking yourself these five questions:
1.) What is your weight loss goal?
2.) Why is that your weight loss goal?
3.) Why is ______________ so important? Why not just do ____________?
4.) What will doing _____________ provide for you?
5.) What is your belief in yourself and your goal? Explore that why. Make it personal.
Here are examples of my answers to these questions:
My “Why’s” for Weight Loss
1.) What is your goal for this program?
I want to lose 20 pounds.
2.) Why do you want to lose 20 pounds?
I want to fit into my clothes better.
3.) Why is fitting into your clothes better so important? Why not just buy bigger clothes?
I feel fat wearing my current clothes because they feel tight, and I’ll feel fat buying bigger clothes. Feeling fat doesn’t make me happy, AT ALL!
4.) What will fitting into your current clothes provide for you?
I’ll feel confident. I’ll feel like I look better.
5.) What is your belief in yourself and your goal? Explore that why. Make it personal.
When I was younger, I always felt “bigger” than my sisters and friends. I heard comments by extended family members, people who loved me, compare my physique not just to my sisters, but to my abilities. Those comments made me feel that my weight and size determined my attractiveness and limited my potential. I believed being “heavier” made me less attractive, less confident, and less capable.
Drawing from those beliefs, this is what my “Deeper Why” statement eventually became: My goal is to lose 20 pounds in a way that is not only doable, but maintainable, because I will not allow my weight to prevent me from feeling confident, beautiful, and capable with my friends and family no matter what situation I’m in.
I have succeeded in my weight loss goal because my “Deeper Why” statement was strong enough to overcome the obstacles and weaknesses I faced.
Whatever struggle I faced, I would say, “I’m saying no to this so that every time I’m with family and friends I will feel confident, attractive, and capable.” Saying this was a lot more powerful than saying, “I’m doing this (or not doing this as the case may be) to lose 20 pounds,” because rather than a number, it focused on my belief in myself and belief in my goal.
Finding my “Deeper Why” statement permitted me to let go of feeling heavy and incapable. It gave me the freedom to embrace myself. For the first time in my life, I feel like I can succeed in my goals because I’m proud of who I am.
